Monday, 1 March 2010

Pretty Awesome

You know the one thing that moving to America has allowed me to do?
Use the word 'Awesome'
And that in itself is pretty awesome. It's not a word that gets used back home unless you're a gnarly skateboarder dude or you say it sarcastically in a really bad fake US accent. Now I can say it all the time and even my 3 year old has adopted it as word of the week.

We Brits take the piss, it's what we do and by 'take the piss' I mean 'take the mick', 'take the mickey', 'take the Michael' 'rip the piss out of'...
You see this is where two countries that speak the same language don't speak the same language. Some people just haven't got a fecking clue what I am saying! And bejesus does it work both ways!

For example. The other day I'm at this lady's house (my son playing with her son) and I say come on Jai we need to go home for tea. She then politely asks if I take milk in it. Well yes I do in tea, but I'm mean tea, you know as in tea, tea. Penny drops, I mean dinner!
Now I know this is a regional thing in the UK and we use the word dinner and tea interchangeably but to me dinner is posher and I would only really say it if it was just me and MrD going to a restaurant.
Now I use it just to see the confused faces. I'm a meanie.

Equally there are many words that I am coming across now that I have to think about, like pocketbook means wallet, right? Here I live in a Town House that only has two levels, it would have three in the UK (excluding the attic or basement) and there I lived in a semi-detached house, that would be a Duplex here, god knows what a Condo is! I thought I was getting some really fancy self-cleaning/bird poo repellant glass when I read 'window treatments' in the house brochure, to say I was underwhelmed by the resulting papery pleated blinds is an understatement. I also got very confused when the back of the food packet told me to broil, that will be to grill then.

Because there is too so much US tele (see, we say tele/telly, it would seem it's purely TV here) on the tele in the UK that us Brits kinda know that when you say garbage/trash can you mean rubbish/dust bin. When you say yard you mean garden, faucet/tap, diaper/nappy, pacifier/dummy, fall/autumn, ass/arse, and when a guy mentions his fanny, well we know that that doesn't mean he is transgender, but we do have to pick ourselves off the floor after the laughter. We also get that when you say Britain you usually mean England (not the same thing Mrs 2nd grade teacher of my daughter)

I'm not going to go into pronounciation, because well, I'm just not going there (but 'erbs!!, really 'erbs?, like nails down a blackboard *shudder*)

Today the postman mailman delivered my parcel package of wool yarn from the shop store, I said cheers thank you, I won't be buying anymore for a fortnight two weeks unless the jumper sweater I'm knitting goes pearshaped wrong.

Totally awesome.

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